Work In Progress

Epiphany.  As defined it Is an intuitive grasp of reality through something, as an event, usually simple and striking, an illuminated discovery.  This is but a textbook definition.  I never truly understood the meaning until today.  Right now, as I stand on the precipice looking down into the yawning abyss, I am overcome by this feeling of enlightenment and all of my previous confusion and uncertainty is cleared.  A single moment of clarity and my purpose, my destiny if you will, is now finalized.  But I am getting ahead of myself.  For you to truly understand how I have come across this feeling, this moment in my life...you must first understand the events that led me to this.



It was the rain that first woke me.  Cold and insistent as it fell from the sky and landed on my upturned face.  I gasped at its touch, eyes and mouth opened wide as awareness flooded my mind and oxygen filled my lungs as though for the first time.  An over whelming sense of terror soon rushed to fill my senses and I drew myself into a seated position and looked suspiciously into the darkness that surrounded me.  Pain ensued, raw with its intensity as I tried to move my legs by instinct and I was over whelmed by it.  The darkness grabbed hold of me and I slipped blissfully into unconsciousness.

I do not know how long I remained in that state.  Mere seconds could have stretched into hours, days or even weeks.  The next awareness I had was of small chittering noises not far from my left ear.  The rain had ended and I once more woke to darkness.  

Opening my eyes I saw a small dark shape to my left and I pursed my lips to blow warm air in its direction.  Startled, the rat scurried away taking what small treasure it coveted with him.  Urgency rang within my thoughts and I felt once more the fear of discovery as before yet knew not from where it stemmed.  I rose much slower than before remembering the pain that drove me into the dark depths of sleep previously.  Slowly I wiggled my toes and felt no pain.  Suspicious, I proceeded to move my foot drawing circles in the air with my pointed toes.  Still there was no pain.  Growing bolder, I bent my knees one at a time and smiled when nothing nefarious happened.  The moment before must have only been a dream, I told myself as I brought myself to my feet and stood.

By now my eyes had grown accustomed to the darkness and shadows began to take forms as I looked at my surroundings.  I stood within the rubble of what had at one time been the ceiling and, upon closer inspection, parts of the roofing as well.  There was a hole directly above where I had slept, exposed metal beams poking into the night sky.  I craned my neck to view the remaining ceiling and wondered why I had chosen this area to lay my head to sleep.  I could only presume at the time I must have wanted the light of the moon upon my face as the remaining space was fearsome in its blackness.  

I tried to think back to when I first came to this place and realized those memories were gone.